Fidelity in a relationship can be a serious element for any marriage. Understanding how the implementation of fidelity will impact on each spouse and the whole family is an important consideration.
In the media, a lot of discussion has taken place to the effect that how a monogamous marriage is boring. One of the alternatives to traditional relationships is something called an open relationship, which might be the answer for making a certain agreement between partners, to feel free to explore their sexual desires and needs outside their partnership or marriage.
In fact a new book was written on this topic by the author Tristan Taormino, “Opening Up – A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships”. Taormino states that “people in open relationships enjoy exploring different dynamics with different people – sexual, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. Non-monogamy gives them the opportunity to create unique relationships that nourish and support each other.”
The good news is that in society today, it is now possible to be open about these issues and personal attitudes towards monogamy and polygamy. Because marriage involves lots of commitments and responsibilities, it is therefore appropriate to let your partner know your intentions and desires outside of marriage. For most couples trust in marriage can be the key for continued happiness together.
I believe that some people may underestimate the consequences of sexual intercourse outside of marriage, or some of them overestimate their ability to handle sexual temptations. Perhaps each person has a different interpretation of sex in their life and it will remain the same whether they are married or not. For some, sex just satisfies physical needs and creates new excitement, for some it equates to love, for some, they develop a strong attachment and for the reminder, it is not important at all.
Therefore, if the modern trend in marriage is for spouses to discuss their desire to have sex with other people, why do couples still prefer to cheat and live a double life, instead of getting an agreement with their spouse or partner?
From rich to poor, married couples sooner or later can face the dramatic consequences of cheating. One example is portrayed in the movie “Arbitrage” starring Richard Gere, who plays the role of a sixty-year-old billionaire hedge fund manager Robert Miller. One night, while driving with his mistress he begins to doze off and has an accident in which she is killed. Although injured, Miller leaves the scene as the car goes up in flames. In order to prevent his wife from discovering the truth, he tries to cover up his involvement. His life seemed to be ruined after such an accident, moreover one person has been killed, and his wife now prepares revenge, and all these problems arise mainly because of his involvement in infidelity.
Another example of the potential consequences of infidelity is in the movie “Fatal Attraction” starring Michael Douglas, Glenn Close and Anne Archer. The film centers on a married man who has a weekend passionate affair with a woman. Though he thought it was understood to be a simple fling, she begins clinging to him and refuses to allow it to end, resulting in emotional blackmail, stalking, and an ensuing obsession on her part.
Thus think twice about stepping into “deep water” before cheating on your partner. Although, nowadays scientists can explain the nature of love and chemistry in romantic relationships. Most people are still not aware how much emotions, feelings, neurotransmitters and hormones are involved here. To understand this process and the consequences may give people valuable information to learn about us as human beings, to prevent unnecessary hurts and problems in our love and sex relationships.
I was passing by a street in the beautiful center of Naples, Florida and looked at an advertisement for investing in mutual funds by the well know investment firm Fidelity. There slogan – “Investing in fidelity.” They invite people to consider before investing in their mutual funds such things as: objectives, risks, charges, and expenses. It seems to me the same principles apply when a couple intend getting married. They need to be aware of the impact and complications that can arise within the family and personal life after an act of infidelity.
Consideration needs to be given to the feelings of a spouse, children, financial and other matters where the choice is to act appropriately in life if you do care about people who love and trust you and count on you. It may be a meaning of “being open in a relationship” is to be able to discuss personal needs and preferences, instead of jeopardizing many precious things a couple have both created. If only a couple could be honest with their intentions and make a conscious choice of actions, then a lot of heartache could be avoided.
Investing in fidelity is a personal choice and making the right choice will enable you to enjoy the benefits of your investment for your whole life – love and trust to pass to following generations.
Personally, I think so many people want all these connections with their partner: sexual, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. To be the only one and special for each other, that is the purpose of having a loving married life together.
In conclusion, I quote Dr. Helen Fisher PhD (Biological anthropologist and leading expert in the science of human attraction):
“I don’t think we are an animal that was built to be happy. We are an animal that was built to reproduce. I think the happiness we find, we make, and I believe we can make good relationships with each other.”
What does fidelity mean for you?