Investing in fidelity

Fidelity in a relationship can be a serious element for any marriage. Understanding how the implementation of fidelity will impact on each spouse and the whole family is an important consideration.

In the media, a lot of discussion has taken place to the effect that how a monogamous marriage is boring. One of the alternatives to traditional relationships is something called an open relationship, which might be the answer for making a certain agreement between partners, to feel free to explore their sexual desires and needs outside their partnership or marriage.

In fact a new book was written on this topic by the author Tristan Taormino, “Opening Up – A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships”. Taormino states that “people in open relationships enjoy exploring different dynamics with different people – sexual, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. Non-monogamy gives them the opportunity to create unique relationships that nourish and support each other.”

The good news is that in society today, it is now possible to be open about these issues and personal attitudes towards monogamy and polygamy. Because marriage involves lots of commitments and responsibilities, it is therefore appropriate to let your partner know your intentions and desires outside of marriage. For most couples trust in marriage can be the key for continued happiness together.

I believe that some people may underestimate the consequences of sexual intercourse outside of marriage, or some of them overestimate their ability to handle sexual temptations. Perhaps each person has a different interpretation of sex in their life and it will remain the same whether they are married or not. For some, sex just satisfies physical needs and creates new excitement, for some it equates to love, for some, they develop a strong attachment and for the reminder, it is not important at all.

Therefore, if the modern trend in marriage is for spouses to discuss their desire to have sex with other people, why do couples still prefer to cheat and live a double life, instead of getting an agreement with their spouse or partner?

From rich to poor, married couples sooner or later can face the dramatic consequences of cheating.  One example is portrayed in the movie “Arbitrage” starring Richard Gere, who plays the role of a sixty-year-old billionaire hedge fund manager Robert Miller. One night, while driving with his mistress he begins to doze off and has an accident in which she is killed. Although injured, Miller leaves the scene as the car goes up in flames. In order to prevent his wife from discovering the truth, he tries to cover up his involvement.  His life seemed to be ruined after such an accident, moreover one person has been killed, and his wife now prepares revenge, and all these problems arise mainly because of his involvement in infidelity.

Another example of the potential consequences of infidelity is in the movie “Fatal Attraction” starring Michael Douglas, Glenn Close and Anne Archer. The film centers on a married man who has a weekend passionate affair with a woman. Though he thought it was understood to be a simple fling, she begins clinging to him and refuses to allow it to end, resulting in emotional blackmail, stalking, and an ensuing obsession on her part.

Thus think twice about stepping into “deep water” before cheating on your partner. Although, nowadays scientists can explain the nature of love and chemistry in romantic relationships. Most people are still not aware how much emotions, feelings, neurotransmitters and hormones are involved here. To understand this process and the consequences may give people valuable information to learn about us as human beings, to prevent unnecessary hurts and problems in our love and sex relationships.

I was passing by a street in the beautiful center of Naples, Florida and looked at an advertisement for investing in mutual funds by the well know investment firm Fidelity. There slogan – “Investing in fidelity.”  They invite people to consider before investing in their mutual funds such things as: objectives, risks, charges, and expenses. It seems to me the same principles apply when a couple intend getting married. They need to be aware of the impact and complications that can arise within the family and personal life after an act of infidelity.

Consideration needs to be given to the feelings of a spouse, children, financial and other matters where the choice is to act appropriately in life if you do care about people who love and trust you and count on you. It may be a meaning of “being open in a relationship” is to be able to discuss personal needs and preferences, instead of jeopardizing many precious things a couple have both created. If only a couple could be honest with their intentions and make a conscious choice of actions, then a lot of heartache could be avoided.

Investing in fidelity is a personal choice and making the right choice will enable you to enjoy the benefits of your investment for your whole life – love and trust to pass to following generations.

Personally, I think so many people want all these connections with their partner: sexual, emotional, psychological, and spiritual. To be the only one and special for each other, that is the purpose of having a loving married life together.

In conclusion, I quote Dr. Helen Fisher PhD (Biological anthropologist and leading expert in the science of human attraction):

I don’t think we are an animal that was built to be happy. We are an animal that was built to reproduce. I think the happiness we find, we make, and I believe we can make good relationships with each other.”

What does fidelity mean for you?

 

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Sexual Appeal In Dating

In dating, sex appeal can be significant for an initial attraction.

What does sex appeal mean? It can indicate an individual’s ability to attract the sexual or erotic interest of another person.

Well, everybody has their own perception of sexual attraction of the opposite sex. Remember when you see a man or women and you may think to yourself “He or she is sexy!” In reality what is it about that person that makes them appear sexy in your eyes.

Nevertheless, let’s look at some different elements of personal traits that can make an enhanced sexual appeal for men or women.

As you may know, most people are aware either consciously or subconsciously that enhancing their sexual attractiveness or sex appeal is important in a dating search. Despite physical attractiveness can be paramount for initial attention in dating; there are lots of other characteristics that could make for increased sexual attraction in the selection process of dating.

There is not only a person’s looks which grab a person’s attention first.

In fact having a physical attraction between heterosexuals is all part of evolution over-time where females exercise fertility, males display a feeling of power, and good health is demonstrated in both males and females. In analyzing these tendencies, there is a continuity of the basic sexual needs of men and women to ensure the continued existence of life on this planet.

Therefore, a man or a woman’s appearance will have a critical impact on their sexual attractiveness. However, sexual attractiveness can involve not only looks, but how a person acts or moves, for example gestures while engaging in conversation, the way a car is driven, and the way dancing is performed.

In addition, a person’s voice, tone, speed of speech and movements, posture, smell, style in clothing or hair and even pheromones can all play a serious part in dating and how a person is attracted to and drawn to a member of the opposite sex.

Interestingly, attractiveness varies considerably over time. The perception of sexual attractiveness can be influenced by what is seen on TV or in magazine advertising, in films that have been viewed. On top on that, cultural and social influences will have an impact on personal perceptions of sexual attractiveness. Consequently, sexual appeal has a personal meaning. However, in sexual attraction there are common components which make men and women more desirable at the beginning of dating. Let’s look at them closer.

Men and women differ in the attractiveness stakes.

It is no secret that it is more challenging for women to look more attractive and sexy than it is for men. This is because men place more importance on physical attractiveness in dating than women do. Men also prefer partners who are younger than themselves. So a feminine, youthful look and slim figure will create more sex appeal for men in the dating process. And men should also remember to pay attention to neatness in clothes, cleanliness, posture and good manners during dating. Because meeting your first date is about creating a good first impression and generating interest in your personality. Yes, presentation matters. You need to look the part.

In comparing during the selection process, women prefer men who have got resources and status rather than their look. Moreover women are drawn to men, not only because they are financially secure, but those who display particular traits, such as talent, ambition and who are caring and considerate.

Don’t underestimate passion and charisma.

Passion and initiative in dating does not only create magnetism, but masculine energy, which will add sexuality in a male’s personality. Take a man for example: demonstrating his interest in a particular woman could be a powerful element in catching her attention. Sometimes passion for a particular occupation, hobby, and activities in personal life can be a fascinating draw and attraction factor whether it is a man or woman. And charisma plays a significant role in stimulating interest for developing a compelling attraction and feelings

Personality in sex appeal.

A combination of personality traits of men and women can be a vital element in sex appeal and attractiveness. Sex appeal is the entire package to make the most of your best features, feeling comfortable in your own skin, and having a giving personality.

Good news about sex appeal.

Everyone can sparkle up their image by bringing some changes in their appearance, style, behavior and personality. Do not limit yourself. There are always new things to learn. If you want to have something that you have never had, then you have to do what you have never done before.

Here are some exercises in personal coaching:

1. Think about the person that you really see as being attractive in the opposite sex. Something that you like about him/her personally. For example, it could be someone from the movies.

2. Now consider: how does that person look, behave, speak, dress and move.

3. Learn some small tips from this person that portrays that person’s sex appeal.

4. Imagine yourself as him/her and try to act accordingly.

5. Enjoy these changes that you bring to yourself, and make yourself more attractive as a result. But above all—have fun.

Personal coaching is available from a relationship & dating expert who will help you create more powerful sex appeal that will amplify personal self-esteem.

P.S. I will gladly answer any questions that you may have.

Tatyana – a relationship & dating coach

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Creating An Attractive Image In Dating

Dating is the process of meeting members of the opposite sex and analysing whether there is an attraction to each other. Therefore the first date can be crucial to catch the interest of the other person.

Despite the fact we all have our own test and perception of attraction to the opposite sex, there are certain facts in reality that we can’t deny, and it is better to take these into account when you start dating again.

I have done a lot of research concerning initial dating attraction factors. Generally these fall into the following:

For women – a feminine look and enjoys being sexy.

For men – look smart, confident with a gentle disposition.

Maintaining your image is an important part of dating and each single person who wants to be more attractive would need to create that attractive image.

The keys of projecting an attractive image will come from nice grooming of ones appearance, selecting suitable clothing for your body shape and skin tone, and projecting a positive and happy outlook on life can be very attractive. Sometimes it is not about fashion, it is more about having a stylish appeal which could be unique for each person.

To look good and feel good about oneself can provide an additional sparkle and project an inner confidence just because they will be able to feel good about themselves. A lack of taste might be one of those defects which are inseparable from ignorance. But the good news is it is easy for a person to develop good attributes, especially if they want to learn how.

You can look at particular details of each factor of attraction in dating in my books. It can save a lot of time in achieving success in your dating and search for love.

Below, men and women share some of their experiences and thoughts concerning their dates.

Things that men don’t like about a woman’s style on a date. Some of their answers might surprise you.

* Low cut tops and short skirts can be a big turn off.

* Harem Pants—while the perception might be you look like an oriental princess; the reality is that you may give the impression that you are unapproachable.

* Big wide belts to hold up jeans or trousers. Because of the width they tend to cut the body in half and create the illusion of the top and bottom half of the body being fatter than it probably is. A big turn-off.

* Someone wearing wedge heels gives the impression that they have problems with their feet. They definitely don’t look sexy—in fact, just the opposite.

* Strapless tops which create a “boob tube effect” are a big turn-off. Not only do they look uncomfortable, but they seem to dig into the chest as well as the back. Why someone would want to dress like that for a special date is a mystery to many men.

* Small dogs in handbags. Is the animal unable to walk on its own? The whole idea makes some men shudder. And what if the dog decides to pee in the bag—or something worse. The perception here is that the man will be number three in the relationship—after the dog. A big no-no.

* Ugg boots look so ugly. They give the impression that the person has got fat legs and are very inappropriate in warm weather. Just the fact that a person is wearing them could make one wonder about the person’s psyche.

* During the nineties there was a fashion trend for women to wear a dress over trousers. This gave the impression that they couldn’t decide which one to wear. Or, they couldn’t care less about what the opposite sex thought of the idea. The mere fact that someone is dressed this way on a date would make a man want to run a mile.

* Someone with a big figure who wears trousers. Trousers often give the impression that the figure is larger than it actually is. And if it is a really large figure then all the bumps and bulges will be enhanced all the more. Definitely not a good idea to dress this way on a date.

* Someone wearing flip-flops—even during hot weather does not create a classy impression. This is a big pet hate with many men.

* A woman who bites her nails or wears nail polish that is starting to peel at the edges gives the impression that she has other hygiene issues.

* A woman who wears too much make-up can be very off-putting. Make-up can look nice, if applied in moderation.

* Fragrance with heavy strong scent can be overpowering and off-putting.

Things that women don’t like about men’s style on a date—and some of the unattractive things they do.

* Any type of headgear, but especially baseball caps—and if worn backwards that is the biggest no-no of all. No headgear should be worn on a date as it gives the impression that the man has something to hide, a bald patch maybe? After age 16 baseball caps should be discarded into the realms of history.

* Any type of jewellery: earrings, multiple rings on fingers, bangles, gold chains, to name a few offending items that look awful on a man, and especially on a date.

* Wearing shorts on a date is one of the biggest turn-offs of all. It shows a lack of respect as well as a “couldn’t care less” attitude. A man wearing shorts would make a girl want to run in the opposite direction.

* Wearing a low cut V neck sweater without a T shirt is nearly as bad as wearing shorts on a date. A woman isn’t interested in seeing your hairy chest. So make an effort and dress appropriately.

* Wearing skinny jeans or clothes that are too tight on a date give the impression that the man is either too thin or too fat.

* Wearing cowboy boots on a date is a big no-no, unless you live in a part of the world where your occupation is driving cattle on the range. And wearing cowboy boots over jeans—no, no, no.

* Wearing trainers without socks or with socks. These are better for sports activities, not something to gain brownie points on a date. However to wear no socks with shoes is the only choice when wearing shorts, but it looks ugly with sandals.

* Always wear proper footwear on a date, and definitely not flip-flops. The thought of feet and toes poking out with their calluses and dry skin is enough to put any woman off you.

* Leather trousers that squeak as you walk give the impression that you are trying to get noticed, when in reality you are creating the opposite impression. Wear some proper trousers on a date, and leave the leather at home.

* Wearing short shorts on a hot summer day on the beach is ok, but not on a date.

* Wearing a T shirt that is tucked into shorts or trousers where a person’s belly hangs over the top looks distinctly unattractive.

* Wearing an old belt that is cracking and shows excessive wear is not very attractive, and dirty shoes put off any woman.

* Carrying a rucksack might be practical for children, but for grown men, it looks very unattractive—unless you are going hiking.

* If you want to live in the 80s then wear deck shoes (with no socks) and loafers on a date. This gives the impression that you are old fashioned and live in the past. Get some up-to-date footwear and really look the part.

* Wearing those novelty T shirts with some inane message emblazoned on the front and/or back certainly says something about you. And it might not go down too well with your date. And novelty ties are another issue. Enough said.

* Wearing sunglasses pushed up into your hair (that is if you have any) is best left to the ladies. It does not look good on you. And if you wear them this way indoors, then you will be lucky if you see your date again.

If you have any question regarding your best image then my image consultancy service is available. Dating is not only about wanting to meet the right man or woman, dating is about renewing your own approach, and this includes your inside and outside image. All of this will make you a happier and more contented person. It is important to invest in yourself, from a time and money standpoint. This is why I provide my various services—to help you find the right person for you.

Join me for dating coaching or just an image consultancy session that can change your life forever.

Are you ready to find love of your life?

P.S. Wishing you every success in finding a compatible and loving partner.

Tatyana Jacques – a dating & relationship coach

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Is online dating a lot simpler?

Online dating is very popular today and millions of singles join many different online dating sites to search for their true love.

On the face of it, it seems to be a quick and simple way to begin your dating journey. However, it is not as easy as some people think. First of all, personal success depends on having a very good written profile and secondly, having excellent photos is crucial in attracting members of the opposite sex.

Where is the catch?

Well singles could feel frustrated when they don’t receive attention from the opposite sex: no emails and no one visiting their profiles. On the other hand, it could be challenging when you have received many emails everyday from different individuals, which you then have to respond to.

Online dating is very time consuming. You would need not only to search for someone to fulfil your requirements, but be prepared to meet members of the opposite sex face-to-face too. Because nothing could be more indicative of any sort of initial attraction than to meet someone whom you clicked with through emailing and then evaluated your feelings and level of chemistry.

Dating is a screening process.

Dating is the process to meet new men or women and evaluate your personal match in addition to defining possibilities for further potential dating. Yes, dating is the sum total of efforts and endeavours in pursuing happiness in a romantic relationship. Moreover it is worth trying as much as trying anything else in our lives.

Stay positive and use your intuition.

In dating and online dating too, it is important to believe that you will meet your compatible person. Dating involves skills of communication, evaluation and inspiration towards your new love. It may not be necessary to immediately meet your soul mate, but it could be good experience to have fun finding somebody for companionship and romance.

You could consider professional dating coaching which could help you in achieving personal success in finding your true love!

Join us to ask your questuions and share your opinion.

Wishing you love always

Tatyana

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Does love need discipline?

We all need love, and nobody is able to escape from a desire to love and be loved.

And therefore, a question arises as to why we still have problems with our love relationships?

The answer is not always simple, but here is my theory after a lot of research I have done.

Love needs discipline!

Everyone looks for special chemistry in dating as the biggest attraction to begin to fall in love and feel excited about a new date. When two people come to the next stage as their love for each other begins to flourish, and they decide to develop their relationship further; well they need to understand a very simple factor to achieve success and happiness as a family. Do you know what it is? It is having a level of commitment to form a quality relationship with a desire to succeed as individuals and as a whole family. One part of such a relationship is to stay faithful and avoid marital infidelity.

Is it possible to prevent cheating?

I studied psychology for my Masters Degree, and I met various people whilst conducting research for my dissertation; my chosen topic being “how coaching might help to find a more suitable partner”. To be loyal in our romantic relationships is a personal choice based on our values and beliefs; even love needs discipline to be successful. Emotional intelligence plays a serious role as well in our romantic relationships. It means individual awareness of our conscious actions and consequences which lead to being more responsible for our behaviour. Hence, it is a personal choice to be loyal and people either want it, learn to accept it or they don’t.

For example, when it comes to opportunities, temptations and alcohol, a man or woman would consider avoiding all these hazards in order to prevent serious complications in their relationship. So some people are able to choose carefully their actions by thinking of the possible consequences, whilst others do not consider it at all.

Perhaps, we start our relationships without knowing enough about each other? Or how much we know about ourselves? How can people be sure they and their partners will be loyal for the rest of their lives? Do we choose the face that we show our potential partner, or do they choose to see in us only our personality?

Well, the truth is, we always have the power to choose the kind of person we want to be!

Please, share your thoughts with me.

 

 Or ask your question.

 

Tatyana – Dating Coach and Relationship Expert

 

Posted in Ask a relationship and dating coach, Dating coaching, Dating coaching for men, Dating coaching for women, Dealing with rejection, Loving you, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dating advice for men from a relationship coach

dating and matchmakingHow To Impress a Woman on a Date

In dating, men’s behaviour and manners play a more significant role then their looks. The truth of the matter is, it is very rare for a woman to fall for a man solely based on his appearance. Real gentlemen are always in demand and a man who knows how to treat a lady on a date has an excellent chance of winning over her heart.

Here is some advice from a Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach 

Your personal attention is very powerful

While it may seem an obvious courtesy to speak to her on the phone, many of my female clients tell me this is the exception rather than the rule. Many women tell me that their primary form of communication with someone they are dating is through either email or texts. Men should understand that the primary form of contact should be by phone calls with a sprinkling of emails and texts. Making phone calls shows a caring and personal approach. Sending emails and texts shows a lack of concern and interest.

Take charge of meeting arrangements

Your initiative for a date is powerful and exciting. But get her input and how convenient the location is for her.  Always try to plan a unique date with a good location and cosy environment.

Pay her compliments

In all probability she took several hours to get ready for a date with you so that she would create a good impression and look her best. So make sure that you make appropriate comments about how beautiful she looks. Express a positive comment about something that she is wearing or how you like the scent of her perfume.

Old fashioned manners and courtesy are a classic

Opening the car door for her as well as the restaurant door should be something that is done unconsciously – and is always appreciated. Always remember when she is alighting from the car to offer her your hand to help her get out.

Gently does it

Upon arrival at your destination, remember to help her off with her coat, and when you are leaving, help her back into her coat.

When crossing a street

When crossing a street watch out for potholes or other obstructions – especially if she is wearing high heels – and offer her your arm or hand for support so that she does not fall.

When Sitting Down for Dinner

When you are being seated by the maitre’d, pull out the chair for her. She will be impressed, as men rarely do this for their dates these days.

Always stand

When having either lunch or dinner, if she excuses herself to use the bathroom, make sure you stand when she leaves the table, and likewise when she returns. If you do this she will know that you have good manners, that you were brought up to appreciate a lady, and she will be impressed.

Don’t use a mobile phone

Never, ever answer a call (or make one), or even send a text message while on a date, unless it is an emergency; in which case explain to her why you have to answer the phone. If you don’t do this, she will assume you are phoning another woman.

Never observe other women while out on a date

The biggest mistake men make is to surreptitiously observe other women while out on a date. Many men think this is normal practice and that their date won’t notice. Don’t believe it. Women notice everything and they will notice what you are doing and assume that you have an eye for the ladies and will be put off accordingly.

Always make sure she gets home safely

Your date’s safety should be your prime concern. Either drive her home yourself, pay for the cab fare or walk her to her door and then make sure she gets safely inside.

The following day

If you genuinely enjoyed the date and want to see her again then make sure you phone her the next day – no emails or texts. Tell her that you enjoyed your date as well as her company and then ask her out again.

Remember in this age of female equality, chivalry is not dead and buried. A woman always appreciates courtesy and good manners, provided it is not overdone. If you don’t practice the tips I have given you above, then you will appear to be just like every other man she dates. But show some courtesy and manners and you will really stand out from the other men she meets. And it is a known fact that one of the ways to win the heart of a beautiful woman is to be the perfect gentleman.

Tatyana Jacques

Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach 

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Relationship and dating coaching

From being single to being married, personal relationship coaching can be very beneficial.

When you are single you need to understand what you want from your ideal relationship and most importantly, how to achieve it.

A good relationship should be based on compatibility where each partner brings value to the relationship by being complementary to each other’s life and happiness.

Factors that can achieve mutual fulfilments in a relationship should be recognised and assessed during the dating process. This task however, is not always easy.

Therefore, relationship and dating coaching is a contemporary approach to help people discover their true values, goals and beliefs that can assist them in making the right choice in a partner. How do we learn who could be suitable for us? From our mistakes, from our friends or from our parents, all of which can create delay in finding a suitable partner.

For example, we hear a lot these days about sex education for teenagers in schools. But in my view may be this is the wrong approach. I believe that this should be redefined as social and relationship skills. It might not be an effective solution to just concentrate on sex and contraception. A more meaningful approach would be to address young people’s emotions, to understand the components of true love, to identify individuals’ values, support them in developing their personality and increasing their self-esteem. What do you think?

Dating and Relationship Coaching for Singles

No one appears to provide serious knowledge for young people on how to select a suitable partner, and how to be confident being single. This may result in many disappointments, wasted time and years in establishing a happy family. Relationship and dating coaching can play a significant part in developing not only crucial skills for being a happier single, but for mastering and clarifying individual needs, goals and values for developing a quality relationship in the future.

And remember, coaching is a secret that some of the most successful people use, not only for business, but for many aspects in their lives as well. It is easy to develop habits, behaviours and belief systems around dating and love issues that can be blind spots towards desirable outcomes. Dating and relationship coaching can make a dramatic impact on achieving success in your personal life, your love life and to help develop a more satisfying relationship. And who would not want to speed up achieving their own happiness!

I have found that Dating Coaching has been a great asset to me in evaluating how I can make progress in dating to enjoy the process.  Margret, 35

- A statistic: 61% of singles in the UK said that they would benefit from having dating and relationship coaching. Source: an online dating site.

 A Relationship Coach for couples

Ok, now imagine a couple who have been married or have lived together for several years. From the beginning everything seemed to be so bright and promising. But as time goes by, many things started to change. A couple can face many challenges and new demands from life. Children being born, mortgage to pay, career needs to pursue and many other thing to take care of. A couple could lose their attraction to each other and notice more negative traits from their partner and could feel dissatisfied and unhappy.

Well, many people can experience such periods in their relationships. And relationship coaching could bring enormous benefits for a couple’s direction to understand their purpose of supporting each other and make them feel happier and more contented.

Sometimes we all need to be reminded why we are in a relationship. Concentrating on positive traits in each other’s personality and encouraging each other can bring about more achievements in making life easier and brighter. We all need help from time to time to re-ignite our relationship spark.

- I have been married for 4 years and I had a baby son 2 years ago and I now stay at home. But I started to feel isolated and have less purpose in my life even though I love my family. I became like a robot with my house routine and I lost interest in what I was doing. I needed help and after I had my coaching sessions with Tatyana, I began to see many things differently. Especially, how important it is to do what I am doing now for my son and husband, which really will bring many benefits for all of us. Anna, 32

Creating a happy family environment is important for each of us, and a personal coach will help you achieve success in your relationship and love life.

Wishing you love always!

Click here to request Your Free 30 minutes
“Love Life Makeover”
Coaching Session for Your Dating and Relationship Success.

Tatyana Jacques –a dating coach and a relationship expert

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A question for a relationship coach

Q: A male client asks:

I thought I had a good relationship with this girl for nine months. She has now gone to another city, far away to work for one year. Then after three months she has sent me a letter that our relationship is over. I simply tried to contact her to ask for an explanation. I received a further letter which said:

“I came to the conclusion how easily some men can fall in love with me. I don’t need you anymore. Especially when I met this other guy who made me understood that I am not interested in you.”

She never explained what in particular she didn’t like about me. I tried to contact her many times, but she changed her phone number and it became impossible to reach her.My friends told me I still have plenty of time to meet somebody else and make a new relationship.

To be honest with you their advice doesn’t help. And every day I feel upset and can’t stop thinking of her. I have sleepless nights. I cannot study, I cannot work, I cannot concentrate and in general I have lost interest in life and believe that I don’t have a future.

My thoughts are eating away at my insides as I search for answers as to why she became so cold. I decided to contact a relationship coach for help because I have often thought that my life has come to an end.

A relationship and dating coach answers:

After being rejected, most people will lose self-esteem and confidence. They will start to search their own personality defects and think about their faults in such a situation. Thus they might dig deeper and deeper, and as a result, they become too critical of their own personality.

The truth is: The reason your girlfriend rejected you is not your personality defects or limitations.

Look around you. There are so many cases where somebody loves another person, but that person does not return that love. Everyone has their own perception of love and a relationship. Separation for one year for young people is not always a good idea to save their relationship. Meeting new people, having temptations to date new guys might seem to offer better choices and opportunities for her.

 It could be many other reasons why she broke up with you. And there is no point in discussing them here. No one can guess how the other person made a particular decision. The fact is why would you want to be with somebody who doesn’t want you?  However, a relationship requires time for two people to understand if they are really into each other and can make a mutual commitments.

The most radical way to get rid of a finished relationship attachment is to start making plans for the future, completely free from the object of unrequited love.

Make a new plan to live without thinking about her. I understand that now there is no inspiration to be engaged in such things, but at first it is necessary to force yourself to think this way.

Create an image of an ideal future. Who do you want to be? How do you want to spend your free time? It should be a detailed plan of how you will spend your weekends and with whom, as well as how you will spend your other leisure time.

I note you mention your studies and work; these should be factored in too, as well as other things that you will do each week. Really at first it can be difficult to formulate such a plan and start to put it into practice. But this is a necessary first step on the road to recovery. It is important to keep busy, meet new people, get involved in sport activities, and/or help others.

In fact, throughout our life we can learn from different situations by reflecting on your experience. In dating it is also a learning process in how to select a suitable partner and mastering dating skills. And one of the most important fragments of such skills is having the ability to move on from disappointments.  To find the right partner might take time and effort, therefore keeping your hopes alive will bring you the results you seek.

If your girlfriend has clarified her feelings that she is not into you, so it is much better for both parties to understand this and move on.  For most of us, dating is an adventure in trial and error and learning through pain to discover and identify the must-have qualities in our potential partner’s  values, lifestyle, views on money, spiritual beliefs, personality traits and hobbies.

You will need to search somebody who is more compatible in a future relationship.

Well, searching for something -means go and find it. Right? This principle can apply to finding  true love as well.

Also an old proverb says – as one door closes another one opens. But here is a wise quote from Hellen Keller: “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

 Believe in yourself and keep dating!

From the heart,
Tatyana Jacques
Relationship Coach

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Attraction Factors For Successful Dating

Attraction Factors In DatingWhen singles decide to search for love, they then need to ask themselves: What are my attraction factors?

Attraction factors can be defined as external and internal.

External factors–it is your look and image you present. Remember that you only have one chance to make a first impression. It is true, surprisingly; some singles want to find a new partner but don’t prepare to make themselves more attractive. Well, dating is a competitive place. How are you going to attract potential dates if you neglect your image?

Creating your own individual style in clothes, changing your hair style that will make you look younger and sparkle, applying the right shades of make-up to give you a radiant look; all of these things will make you feel good about yourself and create inspiring energy to grab the opposite sex’s attention

Imagine when you are going to buy a car or house? How important to you is cleanliness, good quality and other important details in the selection process. So the image you present is crucial in the attraction stakes.

In addition, external attraction factors also include your manners, your voice tone, behaviour and communication and social skills as well.

Other factors are internal. These are your personality traits that play an even more important role in attraction. Ask yourself:

*What can I offer to that desirable man or woman that he or she doesn’t have now?
*What do I have that will make a relationship amazing?
*What parts of my personality and character are beneficial for a romantic relationship?
*What distinguish me from other individuals for somebody to prefer me?
*What am I prepared to invest in a relationship? A relationship takes time, energy, flexibility, honesty and effort.

I would add to internal attraction factors in dating: self-esteem, confidence and financial intelligence. Because singles need to feel self-worthy in order to be capable of creating happiness with a new potential partner.

In conclusion, by making yourself a more attractive and happier person, you definitely will increase your chances to win somebody’s heart if you do!

Here are some useful links for dating and relationship consultations.

E-Books
http://www.consultancyfordating.com/ebooks.php

Seminars
http://www.consultancyfordating.com/seminars.php

Initial image consultation:
http://www.consultancyfordating.com/image-consultancy.php

Relationship & Dating Coaching
http://www.consultancyfordating.com/coaching.php

Posted in Dating coaching, Dating coaching for men, Dating coaching for women, Loving you, Online dating, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dating Is A Journey

Singles need to acknowledge that dating is the process of selection of potential dates and requires going through various stages. I believe it is crucial to identify and clearly communicate relationship expectations and personal timelines early on in the dating process.

Sometimes uncertainly in the first months of dating someone is an early warning sign of problems ahead. More commonly though, potential couples don’t know their true feelings because they are holding back.

The answer lies in the fact that during this time, people who were able to reveal more about themselves – to bring their true feelings to the surface – possibly through an argument or disagreement might trigger true characteristics and behaviour.  It is also important to have a readiness for a constructive argument or an ability to listen to the other partner’s point of view, taking into account their feelings and feedback.  Thus each partner could decide as they have been more open with their feelings, that they can then match to each other and be able to create a good relationship. Alternately, they may decide to break off the relationship and move on in different directions.

One of the secrets of successful couples who grow together and become good partners over time is being honest and open with each other, rather than being defensive. This is a recipe for relationship success; telling our partners how they make us feel or what is on our mind that concerns us about a particular situation or behaviour.  Therefore during dating to see each other in different environments and settings with other people and friends can be helpful to identify the real character of a person that you date. Dating is learning to be more assertive. It is important to remember you are searching for your good match.

In dating to fulfil a long lasting relationship various factors are important:

  1. Feeling ready for new dating experiences. If you are still sad or in a mourning stage after splitting up with your ex partner, you should wait to be reattached, to lift up your spirits and be available for a new adventure.
  2. To recognise someone’s potential ability to create a good relationship. To maintain a good relationship takes energy, affection, and support.  Do potential partners have the time to pursue a relationship? There might be a conflict between what people want and having the ability to make it happen.
  3. Revealing your true personality and level of commitment you planned to invest in a relationship.

However, in a dating process there should be no harsh assumptions or rush to conclusions to evaluate compatibility factors; but to understand each other’s relationship intentions during an early stage of dating is essential.

There are millions looking for love and dating should be a more proactive process. It is just a case of meeting more dates, assessing potential partners until the right one emerges.

Remember, singles need to enjoy their dating journey instead of having a fear of uncertainty or settling down too soon with somebody who is unsuitable.

Keep your heart open and master dating skills to be able to catch the person of your dreams.

Wishing you success and love always.

 Tatyana Jacques

dating, love, singles,dating tips

Posted in Dating 50+, Dating coaching, Dating coaching for men, Dating coaching for women, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment